One of the most enjoyable things I do each year is help with the fundraiser for the FIRST Robotics team at Souhegan High School. (My son was on the team years ago.) My job is to help the kids put on a skit before the professional comedians come on stage, and this allows me to sort of indulge in my childhood fantasy of writing for Mad magazine.

I loved the musical parodies in Mad, so for our skit we put on a parody musical, with lyrics tweaked to fit FIRST. The kids recite the lyrics and we read from scripts because we don’t have much rehearsal time, but it’s still a lot of fun, at least for us and hopefully for the audience (which is mostly parents, so they laugh and applaud no matter what).

This year’s parody takes on a few tunes from “West Side Story.” Here are the lyrics I wrote for a parody of “Gee Officer Krupke” (Youtube it here if you’ve forgotten the catchy tune). The team is singing to a freshman who wants to join:

TEAM: Listen here freshman, it’s really quite clear
there’s something in your psyche that has brought you right here.

We all see it in you, so we have to speak:
Deep down inside you, you’re a geek!

CHORUS; You’re a geek, you’re a geek you’re a real live geek; deep down inside you, you’re a geek!

FRESHMAN: My mother is a chemist, my dad’s a Ph.D.
I started learning algebra when I was only three
Every home computer, we take apart and tweak
Good-ness, gra-cious, no wonder I’m a geek!

TEAM: Don’t worry freshman, this isn’t a knock.
It could be worse you know – you couldn’t be a jock!

CHORUS: We’re geeks, yes we’re geeks, we are not rich snobs; we’re geeks, that’s why we’ll all get jobs.

If you want to see more, come by Saturday, Jan. 28, at 7 p.m. at Souhegan High School in Amherst. Tickets are $20; three professional comedians take the stage, and there’s a silent auction.



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