There wasn’t a Granite Geek newsletter last week because I was visiting my first grandchild, a baby girl.
I figured I should approach grandfatherdom with a properly geeky attitude, so I crafted an Objective Adorableness Algorithm. I used such measurements as ratio of eye diameter to face diameter, frequency of dimple appearance and laughter-to-whining prevalence, then balanced them using Large Lovable Model A.I.
I am happy to say that my granddaughter got the highest possible score and therefore is objectively – not subjectively, mind you, but As Measured With Math – the world’s most adorable infant.
I will not be taking any questions at this time.
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Congratulations, Grandpa. Every baby is the cutest. Isn’t it funny how math is supposed to be neutral and cosmically truthful, but mostly in life we experience algorithms that aim to hook us emotionally somehow.
Congratulations! Grandkids are way more fun. And when they need a diaper change or start getting cranky, you have the option of handing them back to their parents. 😊