There wasn’t a Granite Geek newsletter last week because I was visiting my first grandchild, a baby girl.

I figured I should approach grandfatherdom with a properly geeky attitude, so I crafted an Objective Adorableness Algorithm. I used such measurements as ratio of eye diameter to face diameter, frequency of dimple appearance and laughter-to-whining prevalence, then balanced them using Large Lovable Model A.I.

I am happy to say that my granddaughter got the highest possible score and therefore is objectively – not subjectively, mind you, but As Measured With Math – the world’s most adorable infant.

I will not be taking any questions at this time.

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